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Cleaning up some thoughts on the 4th dimension

April 12, 2011

My microwave knows how many seconds are in a minute...

I was at the laundromat a few days ago, and that is when I started to notice that each machine in a laundromat seems to be set to its own special time zone, or perhaps they each exist in their own little universes, each with a slight alteration to the fourth dimension. In some (note: very few) of these little universes there are 60 seconds per minute. In some (note: probably most) of these tiny cosmos there are 45 seconds to a minute. In others (note: this is the bothersome part) there are upwards of 90 seconds in a minute. The problem that I seem to run into everytime I’m at the laundromat is that I somehow always manage to land one of the 90 seconds to a minute machines. Unfortunately this is usually only one out of the three I’m using.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind the extra cleaning value, especially when you consider that the laundromat is expensive enough as it is. My problem is mostly mental- that is- the machines that take longer make me feel that I am getting ripped off by the normal machines. Also- I’m not talking about different types of machines here. I realize that the 4 load washer is going to have to run for a longer period of time than the 2 load washer (though I do not understand why it does not actually run for twice as long…). I’m taking about 2 seemingly identical machines sitting right next to each other, costing the same amount of money, started at the exact same time, and one finishes 5 minutes before the other.

I might be able to understand this with the older, analog machines where the wash cycle is displayed on a circluar dial, and the hand ticks around to tell you if you are in wash or spin (as though you couldn’t look into the window and tell…). I have actually assumed for a while that the mechanism in those has gotten older, and they have all fallen out of line a bit, and I am okay with that. My issue is that these were two newer washers with a credit card swiper machine attached and a digital timer that showed how many minutes to the end of the wash cycle. The only way I can see two digital timers started at the same time set to the same number ending at different times is if someone has willfully programmed one to not know the proper length of a minute. I could understand a company doing this to make the minute shorter, as that would save money- no matter how dishonest it seems. My issue is the machines where a minute is longer than 60 seconds- they blow my mind!

And just don’t get me started on the dryers- 25 cents for 6 minutes… First off- Who came up with that? and either way, how can I trust that the dryer knows what a minute is? The washer doesn’t!

One Comment leave one →
  1. Dak permalink
    April 13, 2011 7:36 am

    You’re hilarious. And I agree with all of it. 🙂 luckily I have left the land of laundromats! (and dryers) good luck battling them.

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